Tag Archives: Healthy Emotions

ANGER MANAGEMENT – Part IX

Message by Rev. Erny McDonough
Fisherman’s Chapel, Port O’Connor, Texas

I Cor. 13:5 & 6 “[Love] … is not easily angered. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth.”

Intro: Today, I believe is the last of this series on Anger Management. It has been a long journey that has taken us from the first of the year until now. I am indebted to Dr. Les Carter, Dr. Frank Minereth, and Dr. Vaughn, whose writings inspired me to this task. I also received information from the Internet and other materials that I have in my study. I must also express appreciation to all of you, who have been great listeners and I believe doers of the Word as well. There have been many in this community, who have heard that I was ministering concerning Anger Management, who have encouraged me to continue this series. I trust now that we will be posting it on our web site for others to have an opportunity to be blessed as well. This is not a topic that I would have readily moved toward, but I felt the Lord’s breathe before Thanksgiving, 2007, that gave me the wind to work on such a topic.

You remember that the first week, (1) we noted some of the physical and psychological problems that have been the result of inappropriate anger. In week two, (2) we examined the fight-or-flight responses and saw both were damaging to God’s special creation. The third week, (3) we saw that God got angry in the Old Testament, and we used four (4) examples to show how His responses were always from a heart of love. The forth week, (4) we moved to the New Testament, noting three (3) examples of Jesus’ response to His anger and one example of the Holy Spirit responded to His pain. In week five, (5) we mentioned three (3) areas where we as Christians need to get angry and how we should respond to the injustices in our world. The sixth week, (6) we looked at seven (7) management tips to help us get our anger under proper control. In week seven, (7) we noted that a good subtitle could have been Taming Our Temper, and we listed seven (7) management tips to help get our anger under proper control. Last week, (8) we examined four (4) appropriate ways to respond to our anger, and today we will examine the other four (4).

Remember that Henry Drummond wrote in his book, “he Greatest Thing In The World,” No form of vice, nor worldliness, not greed of gold, not drunkenness itself, does more to uncharistianize society than evil tempers. For embittering life, for breaking up communities, for destroying the most sacred relationships, for devastating homes, for withering up men and women, for taking the bloom of childhood, for sheer gratuitous misery-producing power, this influence stands alone!”

Remembering The First Four (4) Appropriate Ways To Respond To Anger:

I. Anger Is One Emotion God Gave Us And Is Not In Itself Sin!

II. Admit All Angry, Expressions, Good Or Bad, Result From Choices!

III. Decide What Is Important To Be Angry About, And What Should Not Matter!

IV. Live In Humility And Listen To Others!

V. Ask Forgiveness From Those Offended By Your Angry Out-bursts!

We must choose to relinquish our craving for control. I know that is part of God’s image, but it is one part that we have to give back to our Creator! Often we use anger to get our way – which never solves any problems. We must understand that we truly have an excessive dependence for approval from the one who we exploded on – Let It Go! When we ask forgiveness, that becomes the deterrent to future angry outbursts. I John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

VI. Forgive Those We Feel Caused Our Anger!

Ephesians 4:31&32Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you“.

Did you notice that the words bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, slander, and malice all give you a bad feeling by just mentioning them! Now notice how you feel as you say kind, compassionate, and forgiving. See how much better you feel with these thoughts running through your mind! When we concentrate on the later rather than the former list, we will find much more joy in our lives!

VII. Learn Why You Are Angry!

Alcohol and other drugs affect inhibitions in the brain, which often causes angry out-bursts, violence, and often even murder. Drinking is the number one predicator of physical and sexual abuse! By keeping our life-style habits consistent with our desired emotional control will help us live as we wished instead of living with regrets! Teach others to control their emotions by watching your life-style, i.e. be an example!

Grief can also produce anger – in fact, it is a necessary stage in the grieving process. Grief is not only produced when we have a death in our families, but any loss – from losing our youth to losing a job – can produce grief, which must be treated just as we would grief from death. We can control this anger like all others!

VIII. Ground Yourself In Truth!

Be careful that you do not watch too many movies to see if you can act like John Wayne or Bruce Willis. Jesus taught Thy Word is truth. Cultivate the Fruit of the Spirit as found in Galatians 5:22&23. When we are filled with love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, and self-control, there will be little room for inappropriate use of anger.

Conclusion: Remember, we are accountable for our actions! We must be accountable with our anger! It is okay for a Child of the King to ask for help dealing with their anger! The Lord will send us help to keep us from sinning! When we decide to no longer be ruled by our anger, we will be filled with peace and laughter.

~Pastor Erny

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ANGER MANAGEMENT – Part VIII

Message by Rev. Erny McDonough
Fisherman’s Chapel, Port O’Connor, Texas

I Cor. 13:5 & 6 “[Love] … is not easily angered. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth.”

Intro: Today’s and next Sunday’s messages are what I began with in this study of Anger Management. I was reading from Dr. Les Carter and Dr. Frank Minereth, who are well known Psychologists and Dr. Vaughn, who is a professor of Psychology at Bethany College in California. They were writing about ways to help one control their inappropriate responses to anger. From this information, I have been motivated to gather additional information from the Internet and from things I have found in reference materials I have in my study. Do not think that I have exhausted this subject! I have not attempted to! I have only wanted to open our eyes to see that God has not made us to be angry people, nor did He create us as passive people. He made as strong individuals, who should allow Love to be our motivator! To do that we need to remember that the Bible tells us to “Be angry, but sin not”!

It is said by some that angry people are mad – and maybe that is right! We have seen that inappropriate anger will cause people to act insanely! It can also lead to bipolarism and clinical depression. We know for certain that anger will consume our happiness, steal our joy, affect our hearth, damage our relationships, and often leads to murder.

Today, let’s look at four (4) ways to appropriately respond to anger.

I. Remember, Anger Is One Emotion God Gave Us And Is Not Sin In Itself!

There are many ways anger can find expression from withdrawal to outbursts and with many points in between! We have looked at the fight-or-flight response and have realized both are out of bounds! All of us have anger, but most of us, most of the time, do not lose control. When we continue getting upset about the same thing, we need to learn to talk about it before it gets worse. Counseling will usually help at least one of a couple who are experiencing anger. Ephesians.4:26&27 “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold”.

II. Admit All Angry Expressions, Good or Bad, Result From Our Choices!

Only you decide how you will react or act toward situations that bring out the anger inside! Avoid the temptation to rationalize your anger – realize actions are controlled by the will – you can control anger’s behavior! Just because you are Irish, hot-blooded, redheaded, or anything else you would like to blame for your explosion, you are not excused for being out-of-control. Proverbs 16:32He that ruleth his spirit is better than he that takes a city.” Ecclesiastes 7:9Anger rests in the heart of fools“. We can stop and pray for help! We can write a letter – as long as destroy it before mailing it! We can vent our anger by cleaning the bathroom or washing the car. We do not have to explode! If we do explode, it is because we choose to!

III. Decide What Is Important To Be Angry About!

Why expend unnecessary energy over spilt-milk? Why elevate your blood pressure over scratched furniture? Why lose your Christian testimony over a dented car fender? Will you get your money back just because you get mad?

Get upset about a rebellious child! Be angry about disobedience and lying! Do not stand by while someone is breaking God’s commandments! Use anger constructively to right wrongs. Anger toward the work of the devil should take us to our knees to intercede for families, friends, neighbors, and this nation! Anger should cause us to volunteer to teach Sunday School or Super Church to help teach our children the right pathways! Anger should motivate us to visit the sick and lonely, to love the broken, to feed the hungry. Anger should push us to vote and to speak out against immorality in its many forms! James 1:19&20Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: for the anger of man does not work the righteousness of God.”

IV. Live In Humility By Listening To Others!

Much of our anger is caused by excessive pride – “having to always be right!” “knowing better than everyone else!” Learn to relate to others as equals. Never try to defend right – truth needs no defense! And, if you are truly as smart as you believe, allow others to have their “wrong” opinions! We will never win the world to Jesus by always showing our intellectual superiority – we must show our empathy with their life situations. We need to help those who have not helped themselves in the past, hoping that our help will show them there is a better way!

Conclusion: Use the Anger God Has Given You Properly! Remember, it is one of God’s gifts, so we need to use it wisely. It is always our choice whether we act or react to situations that come our way. With God’s help, we will always decide what is important for us to be angry about and what should be passed off as trivial! When we decide we are not going to be ruled by anger, we can be filled with God’s peace!

~Pastor Erny

ANGER MANAGEMENT – Part IV

Message by Rev. Erny McDonough
Fisherman’s Chapel, Port O’Connor, Texas

I Cor. 13:5 & 6 “[Love] … is not easily angered. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth.”

Intro: This is our fourth study concerning Anger Management, and we have not gotten to the Management stage yet! We have learned that Anger is a good emotion used both by God Almighty and today we are seeing it used by Jesus Christ. The greatest problem with anger is that it often covers up other emotions like fear, frustration, and anxiety. It is only as we learn the difference between the beneficial anger and the destructive anger that we can become what we were created to be.

The first week, we saw that our society is so against anger that most is viewed as immature or uncivilized. We looked at the damaging effects of sand bagging, and noted that it often brings on additional problems like clinical depression and bipolar disorders. It can fan the flame of paranoia and prejudice and is often expressed by either fight-or-flight.

The second week, we examined fight-or-flight responses and saw that anger is often expressed in ways that it is not easily identified. We saw that threats, bullying, and some manic behaviors are ways some express their aggressive anger. We saw that manipulation, self-blame, and obsessive behaviors are ways some express their passive anger.

Last week, we saw examples of God’s anger as seen in the pages of the Old Testament. We recognized that God banishing Adam and Eve from the Garden after they sinned was an act of His love. He did not want them to have to spend eternity struggling with sin. God dealt harshly with Korah and his companions because He wanted His children kept from open rebellion. God refused to allow Moses to enter the Promised Land because He needed a leader who would listen closely and follow Him in new revelations.

Today, we will look at three (3) examples of anger in the New Testament – two from Jesus Christ and one from the Holy Spirit.

I. Jesus Cleansing The Temple

A. (John 2) When Jesus was beginning His earthly ministry, He went to the Jerusalem Temple to observe Passover. When he got to the outer courts, the only place He could enter because He was neither a Levite nor from the linage of Aaron, He found so much noise, turmoil, and cheating that He was sickened. He had gone to pray, but found sheep, cattle, and doves being sold and people selling temple coins for a handsome profit. This practice was not found in the Old Testament, but began after the Jewish Captivity when they returned and rebuilt the Jerusalem Temple. So enraged that “Our Father’s House” was being treated as some common street market, Jesus wove a whip from the cattle bedding, and symbolically whipped the merchants and drove them out.

Jesus was not just throwing an angry fit, but was doing what He could to return God’s people back to Godly worship. The sheep and cattle were there as sacrifices, but God did not want people simply to buy their gifts – He wanted them to put the time and effort in raising an offering without spot or blemish. Some have noted that Jesus treated the dove sellers different as if He had special feelings for doves, but there is no indication from Scripture to support such. He treated them different simply because the doves were caged. The moneychangers were providing a service to the worshippers, but were cheating those who came to get the temple coins. Remember God’s two laws, (Love God and Treat your neighbor as yourself) these people were breaking both of them.

B. (Matthew 21Mark 11 Luke 19) Four days before His death on Calvary, again Jesus saw God’s House. This time He did not make a symbolic whip. On His way to the Cross – to die for the sins of the people, and seeking a place to pray, He only found a “den of robbers.” His heart was broken and He attempted to set the matter right.

II. Pharisees And Herodians (Mark 3)

Jesus had just dealt with these same people when they accused Him and His disciples of breaking the Sabbath by taking some grain and rubbing them together to separate the chaff from the grain to eat. He had tried to explain to them that God had made the Sabbath as a day of rest for the benefit, not the hardship, of the people. Now, He enters the Temple, and these same guys were watching to see if He would break another of their Sabbath laws.

Jesus notices that there is a man there with a shriveled hand. This man can not do what others can because he is handicapped. Having compassion on the man, Jesus tells him to stretch it out, and when the man obeys, his hand is restored.

The Scriptures are plain in explaining the reason for Jesus’ anger. Different translation versions state it as: ( KJV) ” being grieved for the hardness of their hearts” (ASV) “at the hardening of their hearts” (Beck) “because their minds were closed” (Phil) “ deeply distressed by their callousness” (TAY) “ deeply disturbed by their indifference to human need“. Jesus saw this for what it truly was – they just did not like Jesus and were looking for any reason to have Him killed. Jesus was trying to help others not follow their spiritual leaders directions, because they were leading them places they should not go! Jesus wants us to be compassionate – to heal not kill, to do good not evil.

III. Ananias and Sapphira (Acts 5)

The Church that Jesus was building was new. There had been a great revival begun on the Day of Pentecost, when 3,000 were added to the Church. It was continuing to grow when the Church was multiplying as people were being added daily. With this growth came great persecution. Peter and John had already been before the Sanhedrin and told never to mention Jesus’ name again. The Church was experiencing great financial problems, so much that several were selling their possessions and giving it to the Church so the needs could be met – they understood the Church needed money!

Along comes two, who claimed to be a part of The Way, as it was then known, who saw an opportunity to make themselves look good. They were apparently looking for power or fame. They sold a piece of property, told everyone what they had done and made people believe they had given all. In truth, they had kept part of the money from that sell for themselves.

It was not wrong for them to keep part of the money – the wrong was that they were trying to make people believe that they were doing something that they were not doing.

You remember that by the leadership of the Holy Spirit, Peter pronounced they were lying and would drop dead! Peter did not kill them – the Holy Spirit killed them!

Why? As long as you refuse to admit your wrong, you can never have an opportunity to be saved! The Holy Spirit’s job is to bring us to salvation – No one can come to the Father except the Spirit draws him. Had they been allowed to follow the popular paths, they would never have become followers of Jesus! Had others seen they could gain advantages through lying, others would also not have been truly saved! God can not stand hypocrisy! He is willing to forgive, but don’t try to hide sin, because He will expose them in order to get you to confess and forsake them!

Conclusion: Yes, God got angry in the Old Testament and Jesus and the Holy Spirit got angry in the New Testament! And they acted on their anger in ways that were meant to be redemptive! God is never vindictive, but His nature is always to be loving, caring, and wanting the best for His people. When we understand that God does everything out of His heart of love, we will better understand His actions. When we see what makes God angry, we will better understand things that should make us angry.

~Pastor Erny